By Friday afternoon I knew that it was going to be a bad night. She had been unsettled all day, cluster feeding in little bursts that came every hour or two and grizzling frequently. Sure enough, the night held a similar fate. At one point, after having held her dummy in for what felt like an eternity (but was probably about half an hour), I gave up. I was grizzling as much as she was, desperate for a bit of sleep after a long and tiring day. Sean and I swapped sides, and he told me later that he spent two hours awake with her. At one point a fight erupted between us over a misunderstanding; there was something yelling of obscenities, some slamming of doors, some hurt feelings. It was a bad night.
Then yesterday, Saturday, came and she was a little more settled during the day. Having overcome a bout of thrush (and deciding that yes, it’s definitely gone), I was finally able to start expressing again. As it had been a while, I was only able to get 60ml (I say “only” because before the thrush I was getting up to 120ml after a feed). I set it aside though, thinking that perhaps Sean could do a night feed with that.
As it turns out, I needed my EBM (expressed breast milk) sooner than expected: the last feed before bed left her a little unsatisfied, and I was already too tired to keep trying to breastfeed her when both boobs were pretty empty – it would take forever to slowly fill her up as my boobs refilled themselves! So I whipped out my bottle of EBM, and she guzzled it down, probably about 50ml on top of the boob feed. After that she slept for about 6 hours. Can I get a HALLELUJAH over here?! We literally went from our worst night, straight to our best night.
Today I’ll be starting up my pumping routine again, to help build up supply and hopefully get a good store of EBM for top-ups and those occasions when I need Sean to feed her, for whatever reason. Breastfeeding is great, but it is very challenging; not being able to pump for a while really taught me the value of expressing and having that EBM on hand!